Brother Can You Spare A Tenner

Friends, Romans, Countrymen…

It has been something like eight months since my last update, which is probably a sad testament to my waning creativity and a tendency to act too conservatively outside of Atlantic City. Indeed, my autobiography has been stuck on page 3 for months now… and page 2 is pretty much historical material and baby pictures (page 1 was intentionally left blank). In the hopes that I may get back into a more prolific authoring groove, I've created this blog to detail my enlightening and oft heartrending journey towards Nirvana: Tea and biscuits with the Queen. I've posted all of my prior updates as well as a few other bits and pieces. I'm missing a lot of people's emails and I have duplicates of others, so please let me know if you have a preferred email address, and send this on if you like.

It has been a long time since we've entered a year with clouds so dark and ominous lingering about… In fact, I've begun to have nagging worries that I am a harbinger of economic doom. I opened my first (and only) trading account the week after the NASDAQ hit 5000; I purchased my first house in 2005; and my IRA is saving the IRS thousands in losses I can't claim! When I moved to the UK, the pound exceeded two dollars and London was the epicentre of the financial world. A mere 18 months later, the pound is at $1.40 and bankers are fleeing London like rodents off a sinking ship - even the masses of workers from recent EU entrants are scrambling to catch the next ferry, train or dirigible back to Eastern Europe. As for those envelopes I sent back to the U.S. last year?? Send them back now… with DOLLARS!

One unexpected benefit of the "credit crunch" (frankly, I prefer "XXXXXX-XXXX-ing Fiasco"), is that prices have started to drop on every day items (like beer). My local now offers 99p pints of pleasantly-chilled ale, and a variety of fine dining options for under 3 pounds - including some of our old English favourites. Sagely, they've offset their price cuts by putting in a Golden Tee video game that has already become my second biggest cash outflow after rent. On the down side, theft and stupidity is on the rise as the economy contracts. Susi's purse was recently stolen from right between us while we were obliviously eating dinner at another pub. After 15 minutes of playing Where's Waldo with Jackson, the pub's security camera operator, we found the mystery man, striped shirt and all, stealthily grabbing purses and stealing gulps of beer from unwitting onlookers, whilst we chowing down and discussing items of great international importance. I subsequently lost my favourite cufflinks (sorry Bergeron) and half the contents of my wallet during a New Year's party at the exact same place two weeks later - yet despite hours with my new friend Jackson, we could find no Waldo to blame.

On a positive note, I'm very excited to see what the Obama administration brings to the table. A great irony of politics (and just about anything else, for that matter), is that there's nothing better than stepping into an incredibly desperate situation. This is very much like FDR's first term in the 30's, which followed 4 years of economic depression, the dust bowl and low grade moonshine… all he had to do was legalize booze, and he was a lock to become history's most popular president! So long as Obama keeps unemployment below 40%, refrains from supplying Iran and North Korea weapons-grade plutonium, and resists the urge to mandate genocide (of greater than 50,000 civilians), he's going to be regarded as an absolute hero to stand the test of all time. His mere presence in the oval office has re-opened a world of travel opportunities. I can now look forward to a weekend in Paris without every relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner projecting their inadequacies in the form of apoplectic anti-American antagonism.

In recent news, we should give a shout out to A-Rod for his recent admission. Now that we know every player averaging over .230 and 10 homers a year in the last three decades has been on steroids, can we please get over our obsession with asterisks? Let us put an end to third-tier congressmen grandstanding in the hopes of building their legacy around destroying our national pastime! I do sympathise with those players who didn't juice, marooned in the minors because they didn't want to risk unwanted breast augmentation or becoming infertile to get that edge, but lets get beyond this already (hell - I was only a couple Primobolanestosterone shots away from making the Angels in '97). We should keep in mind that Babe Ruth and many of his brethren were using illegal performance enhancers throughout most of their careers in the 20's... only difference being that theirs made you smarter, more attractive, tougher, stronger, more attractive, funnier, quicker and more attractive, while steroids can really damage your body.

…and a quick update on the business. As most of you know, I moved to London a year and a half ago to dodge the draft, and to avoid the agony of two unprecedented season-ending collapses by the New York Mets. It has been a flying success on both accounts! Our business, Global Outsourcing eXchange, has also overcome a number of initial hurdles to enjoy a very positive run starting late last year. Our primary proposition is around cost reduction - a novel idea many companies are now taking a serious look at - and we have had a good mix of interest from both American and British companies.

Most importantly - I want to give a huge thank you for the support many of you have given - from solid business advice, relevant case studies, client referrals, and of course, becoming our first clients. Unfortunately, the recent corporate climate has compelled us to cancel the all-inclusive Las Vegas Outsourcing "Convention" we like to hold for our A1-Elite-Star-Gold-Premier & Economy-Plus Customers - but you should be receiving your first of twelve (12) jellies-of-the-month in the coming weeks.

Because of the type of business we're in, its little surprise that all of our clients and all but one key prospect have come from our direct network and from referrals. Therefore, I sincerely appreciate you keeping an eye out for contacts in companies we can help weather this economic storm. For more information about who we can help, and the commission we pay on these referrals, click here.

Anyhow, life in London has not been without its extraordinarily minor triumphs these past six months. A few weeks ago, the BBC filmed our weekly flag football game down in Kensington Gardens. Adam Goldstein, a Londoner who plays football with us managed to see a game in every NFL stadium during the regular season this year (including the game in London), and so it merited a spot during the run-up to the super bowl. Click here to see it. It's not quite the cover of Fortune… but boy do I look good blowing 2 tackles on Adam's game-opening 77-yard touchdown run :-).

And finally - those of you looking to visit London, we're offering some very competitive rates this spring on our "double" rooms (shared bath) - don't forget to book early. As for our friends on the European continent - that was a thinly veiled counter-intelligence measure to invite ourselves to your cities this year :-). Congrats to Ryan & Jen on their recent nuptials, and to our many friends who have recently (or will soon) become parents!! Good luck to everyone in 2009!!!