Ouch!

Hello everyone,

After three and a half years, a cracked filling prompted my first to a dentist here in England. After a routine exam, I was informed that the national health service would happily replace the entire tooth with a molar gleaned from a dead woodchuck at no charge …or I could “go private”, and pay several hundred pounds for a proper filling. I chose the expensive option, and was treated to an hour of drilling – before which the dentist begrudgingly allowed me a tipple of Novocain insufficient to numb a fingernail. They also don’t do chairside-manner here without an additional fee. Nope – on the NHS I was treated to an anxiety laden torture session, including incessant threats of an inevitable root canal and worse! The dentist must have said "oh my God" and "I can't believe how deep it is" 8 or 9 times throughout the session. Better yet, it still feels like I have a cavity in there, and I swear that I was half a g-force from a brain hemorrhage when we went go-karting last weekend.

In lieu of blog entries this past year, Susi and I decided to create a litany of obsessively-structured days worth of wedding celebrations! On that note - we could not have asked for a better experience – every last detail was perfect. We paid the piper, however, with a complete rain-out in Jamaica afterwards. …and when it was all said and done, in the butchered words of the Ghost of Christmas Future, “there was an empty chair where ‘wedding planning’ once sat”. Well, Susi and I filled that chair… neither with a torrent of homebuilding nor an extended period of honeymooning… but with food, drink, sloth… and food. Yes, we may not have handled our post-nuptial depression with the utmost grace, but it was a lovely, albeit slovenly, couple of months.

In 2011, we’ve begun to fight back with vigor, with Susi already back below her wedding weight, and working full time while pursuing her passion by taking floristry classes in the hope of revolutionizing the way we spend money on decorative implements that become obsolete in a matter of days. I need to put a quick disclaimer here - Susi is already a fabulous arranger, and saved us a fortune by doing up our U.S. reception – much to the benefit of our honeymoon liquor tab. As for me, I’m still desperately struggling to make use of those ill-advised suit purchases I made right before the wedding.

We’ve begun a largely raw-food diet as the cornerstone of our effort, an emotional investment that has meant, among other things, learning to embrace the Crayola rejects of impossible-green, suicide-yellow and orange-you-glad-your-dinner-isn’t-this-color. Nothing helps you lose weight faster than when your food looks like something that would come raining down on a hapless Canadian inadvertently saying, “I Dun’t Knuuw”. (To understand that utterly obscure early-80’s reference, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QbhfbLUtQs). Eating food that hasn’t been heated above 110 degrees is the latest way to make measurable strides towards immortality. Apparently, discovering fire enabled us to conquer the world while dooming us to eternal unhealthiness and obesity. For those looking to try raw food – let us tell you from experience that it's best to avoid meat - particularly chicken and the Japanese puffer fish.

Three and a half years and still going strong! Hope to stay in touch with you all.

Rich & Susi