It's Too Hot!

Despite my insufferable griping, we’ve had the first decent summer in the six years that we have lived here.  We topped out in the high seventies on multiple occasions - resulting in countless cases of heat stroke, reckless skinny dipping and the other usual British chicanery a little heat will cause.  It has recently emerged that the gas and electric conglomerates made a historic killing over what was the coldest winter in decades, and they are now flooding the media with air conditioner advertisements to keep the bulls running.  Now the water companies are getting their laugh as full reservoirs, crispy lawns and saggy begonias have created another little perfect storm.

What’s amazing is just how much I’ve seen in my neighbourhood over the last week that I had no idea existed.  I could have sworn that we had exactly three lousy pubs, a decent convenience store and three indistinguishable Indian restaurants… it turns out we also have a very nice Italian Café, a (disconcertingly incongruous) TGI Friday’s and seven (7) indistinguishable Indian restaurants!  The perpetual drizzle and raw weather forces one to keep their head down, but since July I have felt like Dorothy after landing in OZ - munchkins and all.  The world has gone from black and gray to comically overcontrasted Technicolor.   I was so overcome with goodwill that I deigned to give a classic perfunctory semi-nod with grimace-smile to a mother and small child whilst walking home from the tube yesterday... earning me queer look from Mom and a brusque ****-off... from her 8 year old daughter.  I’m not sure what else I could have reasonably expected.

Of considerable agitation over here (and perhaps in the US as well) is the awareness that our hallowed government has been illegally monitoring people’s internet and telecommunications activity.  I am shocked and outraged that the NSA has somehow gained access to the same ‘classified’ information that armies of perilously under-regulated and under-paid support technicians in various non-Nato countries sift through as part of their every day job.  At least they might have possibly signed an NDA.  Since it seems inevitable that you’ll all find out anyway, I will just come clean - Riley has made me download the intro themes to MacGyver, the A-Team, Airwolf, Magnum PI, Knight Rider, and every sit-com that aired before 1987, as well as countless YouTube montages of classic commercials… on over 100 separate occasions.  I think Riley is trying to vicariously embrace my eighties’ childhood… a simpler time when we were incredibly consumed with edible consumables, and every problem could be solved in sixty minutes or less without sex, potty mouth or anyone actually getting hit by a bullet.

What is genuinely frustrating is that these eyes in the sky and over the wires could be used for the greater good.  For, if it were left to my devices, Riley’s entire life would be documented by hundreds of out-of-focus iPhone pictures and this rather meaningless blog.  For example, we recently spent the weekend in Rye (England), and treated the wee man to his first muckabout on the beaches of England.  It was to be undoubtedly the absolute highlight of his entire summer.  The entire session - all 17 minutes of it - consisted of me frantically chasing Riley between the cricket games and sun worshipers, simultaneously trying to take pictures while keeping him from being swept out to sea by the rapidly approaching tide.  I didn’t manage a single good photo before he decided to vehemently object to having become a piece of human sandpaper by tumbling about with his not-yet-dry slathering of SPF 50.   Surely the NSA had satellites in the area and found something suspicious about an aimlessly cantering 15 month old!  As the social security shortfall grows greater and greater, it’s only a matter of time before the government starts offering a catalogue of personalized memorabilia - particularly to those unfortunate groups who’ve been illegally profiled… such as the computer literate.  You heard it here first!

And finally - a quick shout out in honour of the DUFF grabbing his first major at the PGA.  I think we may comprise the lion’s share Jason Dufner’s entire fan club - certainly internationally :-).   More on that here: http://thecricklewoodyankee.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/dufnering.html.

We hope things are well with all of you!

Rich, Susi & Riley